


My Favorite MMO; and I'm the bad guy that fades into obscurity!

by photogenicpetals



Category: Elsword (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Car Accidents, Crack Treated Seriously, I made a shitty Isekai au and all my friends enabled me, IF KOG WON'T TELL ME WHY OWEN DID WHAT HE DID THEN YOU WILL SIT THROUGH MY SHITTY ISEKAI FIC, Other, Out of Character, Pining, This takes place in the actual Elsword universe, at least for Owen, informal and arguably bad writing with no beta because I'm lazy and it adds to the charm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-12-17 11:10:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21053420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/photogenicpetals/pseuds/photogenicpetals
Summary: [          ] was just trying to get his dinner but ended up in his favorite MMO RPG! Realizing that he is in fact an antagonist for one of his favorite characters- he has to make a choice! Does he keep going down the path of the forgettable villain, or does he try and stop the protagonist from having such a shitty life?





	1. A Whole World of Pain (Because I got hit by a truck)

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't take this too seriously, I'm begging you, the original title on my google doc for this monstrosity is "I have a love/hate relationship with Isekai so I made one". There's like only 5 fics in the Elsword fandom and I'm not helping.
> 
> It might not actually become 22 chapters but we'll see.

The day before was pretty uneventful, it was pretty much how my days usually go with a few exceptions. It was a bit cloudy, a tell tale sign of the rain to come, and the humidity ended up making my cat, Mimi, more irritable than usual. She almost ended up clawing up my furniture before I threatened to put her in that kennel she hated so much. Though I was too busy to actually see whether or not she even care about my threats, my curtains- torn and worn from previous incidents would most likely say otherwise. 

There were all sorts of puddles on the path to the station, and many umbrellas at people’s sides as they anticipated yet another downpour. I never really minded the rain, and forgot my umbrella anyway, so if the heaven’s poured down from above, I had no defense against the powers that be. My glasses were going to be so hard to see through, I really should’ve worn contacts.

On the train ride to my job, it was of course- crowded and quiet, as per usual. I didn’t like noise, but I also didn’t like having to stand up, so it wasn’t great, but I couldn’t complain too much. 

As for my job itself- it was a pretty uneventful job working at a bookshop- the customers were kind, sometimes a bit strange, and the work was only occasionally stressful during certain holidays. My manager was a bit ditzy and a bit of an older lady, but she was still kind, despite her rougher attitude. It’s retail, really that’s all you could really say about it, but it was better than most places. I didn’t like my job- but I didn’t mind it.

When I got home, I found that my cat had clawed up the curtain again- because it’s her favorite cat toy, rather than the nice toys I spend half my paycheck getting her. Ungrateful child. Nonetheless she always curls up to me so sweetly at night, I can’t bring myself to be mad at her forever.

My mother called me after I try disciplining Mimi, nagging me about my lack of getting a romantic partner, and my father would usually say something unhelpful that would- even so- get me to laugh and cringe every time. Usually after that, I’d just go play a game or something until I eventually get too tired to keep my eyes open. Then I’d go to bed and dream of, I don’t know, squid flying on leaks? Whatever, dreams are weird.

Really all that changed was that, before getting on my computer- I wanted to eat dinner, and was too lazy to actually cook it myself. Arguably- getting it from the family mart near my apartment complex is more taxing, after all I have to walk there and then talk to people and walk back, but… Actually, I don’t really want to excuse myself. I sort of wish I hadn’t gone out at all and just made some of that shitty instant ramen I had in my cupboard.

As I was going back, some canned oden in hand, it started raining. Why hadn’t I gotten my umbrella this time? Or put in contacts properly? I yelled and berated myself internally while sprinting home. I guess I just forgot. But, something might’ve changed if I had done just that. 

There’s a reason why adults say ‘check both ways while crossing’ when you’re young. But how was I supposed to know? It was already dark out, my glasses were foggy, and I was in too much of a rush to get home. I just. Didn’t notice a car coming that way. I really should’ve, its lights were turned on, but I just didn’t.

Each day, I lived in fear of something like this happening, I don’t think there’s anyone out there who doesn’t, I just didn’t expect it to happen so suddenly. My mind was racing, even while the pain was beginning to settle in. Who's going to feed Mimi? Who’ll tell my parents that I love them each day? Who’s going to have their grandchildren, even if adopted? Who’s going to help my manager with numbers? She doesn’t even know how to work a phone calculator! I was so close to getting a really powerful void weapon too… No one will ever even tell my guild, all my friends. It was just going to end like this, and I’ve never been in a proper relationship!

It felt like torture. My life was flashing before my eyes, and all I could really do was wait, even while I was flying into a creek nearby, my glasses clearly broken with some shards in my eyes, I could only wait. Everything was just pain and sorrow.

Then, like I was going to sleep at 4 in the morning, instead of getting a sweet dream, I was swept straight into darkness.


	2. Them's the facts! (Can I go back home yet?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our protagonist finds himself in a strange (not so) new world! Wow!

From there, I didn’t wake up for a while. But, like a poorly written, yet still fun, light novel I used to read- I eventually came back into consciousness in some strange place. For a while, I didn’t know where I was. I was in the middle of a room. It was neat, but I wasn’t really a cleanly person, so it can’t have been mine, and it look more western than anything.

It really was turning out like that novel.

I was already dressed, so I simply exited out of the room and entered the hallway of whatever building I was in.

...It’s good to see I haven’t completely overwritten the memories of whoever this is, or I would’ve been screwed here… Let’s see. I lost consciousness… I don’t know who I am now, but I must already be someone, if I’m around these people’s ages… Maybe if I just. Look in a mirror, I’ll be able to tell? ...Why can I remember in the first place? Isn’t there supposed to be something guiding me here?

...What if I don’t even know who I am, am I a character from something, or am I just, completely original? ...I’m not sure which is scarier. Acting out a part I’m underqualified to play, or having no role to begin with. I don’t even want this sort of thing, if I end up being a hero, then I’ll have that to deal with, which I’m clearly unqualified for… If I’m a side character, I might end up dying, again... 

I hate these options! I hate this situation! This is dumb! I don’t want to-!

...I’m sounding like a child in my own head. I can’t complain forever, as much as I just want to lay down and not get back up for a while, I need to-… Well… People are usually sent to different places for a reason, right? Maybe if I just do that, I’ll be able to go home. I’ll see Mimi again and give her fancier food than usual. Hell I’ll spend my whole paycheck on her, I don’t care.

I just need to. Find my reason. Whatever that is.

The interior of the building itself gave no real indications, it was just a western looking school building, and aside from… A very familiar emblem on some stray items here and there… I just… Can’t put my finger on it. People were chatting among each other, none of them really paying me any mind, except maybe from some more… Nosier, let’s say, students to stare awkwardly at me, pity in some eyes, slight disgust in others.

...Great.

Love that.

They don’t resent me, and I don’t really stick out, however something is definitely weird about me that gives off that reaction.

Cool. See this is why I like highschool! I’m already getting anxious and judging on the sun’s position- it’s probably only 10 am. I don’t actually know, I can’t read the sun like that. I feel like I should curse the existence of wrist watches, but I’ll feel older than dirt if I do.

…

Wait. There was actually an important question in that ramble. Is this even highschool?

Whatever, it feels like one, I’m saying it’s one. College students are too tired to care, I seem too old to be in middle school and people aren’t currently being mean enough to be 12. Thus, I’m probably in highschool.

My legs continue carrying me to… A library? Well, that’s weird. I guess I don’t have classes today. I’m too bothered by the concept of being late to actually suspect otherwise… Thanks, muscle memory, I guess. Brain, work consciously harder, please, I’d like to know who I am before lunch time.

At least I don’t have a teacher to call on me, just with that alone, it’d be like this whole experience is just kicking me in the shins and calling me a coward.

As I get settled into the library, I find that I can’t actually… Read. Most of the books. I can read some in which Why is that being hidden from me? Is there something trying to stop me from knowing where or who I am until a certain point?

Well it isn’t funny, and you’re annoying! Whoever you are!!

…

There’s no answer, of course, because if there was something out there that wanted to patronize me, it would’ve done so by now.

The first half of the day passes without much fanfare, just me attempting to see what I can and can’t read. From what I’ve gathered- there’s a magic system here and… There might have been robots? I literally got nothing from my research. I end up leaving the library empty handed, sensing that it’s almost lunch time.

...Seriously, why aren’t there. Any mirrors here, aside from presumably the bathroom... It’s. Hard to put it into words, but it would probably feel weird going in there? ..I should really swallow my pride and just do it, right? Well, that’s easier said than done! So! Don’t pester me about it! Besides, I don’t even actually know what bathroom I’m supposed to go into.

...Still, I really just want to rip the band aid off. My feet are moving on their own again, anyway, so I have no real say on the matter, but it’d be nice just to know… I wonder if my reflection would be all foggy?

...What would it take for me to at least learn my name? While thinking that- I turn a corner almost automatically, and stop for a moment… Why am I not moving again? That’s. A little weird.

I feel myself turning my head, almost compulsively, and catch sight of a… Beautiful man. His skin was brown, a shade or two darker than the other students attending, and his build was more on the muscular side, though it wasn’t that obvious, his black hair was slicked back, resulting in a spiky hairstyle that I thought no one could really pull off outside of games, and his eyes were a beautiful brown that I just couldn’t help but stare for longer than necessary…

…

Wait.

Wait.

Wait wait wait wait-.

That’s. Raven Cronwell.

That’s just. Straight up, Raven Cronwell, without his golden eyes. 

I main a version of that guy- Nova Imperator, in particular. I have spent far too much money on him, and I was this close to getting +9 on his void weapon. He’s primarily the reason I never had a proper dating relationship because he was the one thing that I looked forward to seeing aside from Mimi when I got home- that’s a joke I’m just awful at the actual ‘dating’ part of dating-! And there he is. The bastard himself… In his. Uniform.

I get it now.

I’m in the game Elsword. No. More specifically-... I’m in Velder. Velder Academy, in particular. Just a few years before Raven is eventually betrayed by his best friend and loses everything. A few years before he has to come to terms with it after being under Nasod control, and eventually start the road to recovery. A few years before he starts his amazing journey to help a young boy save the world. 

…

Am… Am I an extra? Please tell me I’m an extra? I don’t... Think I’m a girl, so I can’t be Seris… Which is good, because I meant it- I really don’t want to die again… 

“Hey, Felford!!”

Wait what if I’m one of the Crow Mercenaries?! I don’t wanna be an extra that either dies or becomes a nasod!

“Are you listening, or did you get brain damage on the way to school?”

..Maybe I’m one of those guys from Raven’s backstory quests? I don’t want to be mean to my favorite character! Come on! These sort of things are supposed to be wish fulfillment! 

“Hey, I’m talking to you!”

Oh, I could just be unrelated, maybe I’m some really obscure NPC here to… Bully Seris, maybe?

All of a sudden I see an arm punch the wall in front of me, making me realize that Raven had long since left and in front of me was-.

“HEY!” A voice trying too hard to be boisterous called out, interrupting my thoughts. I looked over at who it was and found… Some muscular guy with a bowl cut and a stupid look on his face. Not thinking about it- I say the first thing that comes to mind.

“Who are you?” I’m a little surprised at the sound of my own voice, it’s a bit deeper and has… A prickish quality about it. Christ I feel like a teacher’s pet. I hate this.

The guy looks at me stunned, before his face twists into rage. “You know… It was awfully nice of Zohan and I to let you into our group yesterday. To see you can’t even remember my name… I think you ought to be put in your place for that, huh?” He smiled something that I could tell was meant to be threatening… But? Really. Something about his face was so stupid that I couldn’t take it seriously. It wasn’t even anything on his face. Just something about it was stupid, trust me on this…

Wait but he just gave something important away to me! Zohan is the name of one of the guys that ended up going against Raven in the mock siege warfare! So that means… Since that last guy doesn’t come in until later, this must be Fred! ...Wow. I didn’t think he looked this annoying in real life... 

I sigh and shake my head. “I was under the impression we would be discussing strategies for the mock siege warfare after lunch” I say the last part automatically, as if a part of myself was attempting to fill in the blanks. “Apologies if I thought that meant we would meet up together rather than just us two in the halls.” I remark sarcastically… Actually, despite how genuinely scared I am of this guy punching me, I kinda like this ‘devil may care’ attitude I have going, it makes me feel way smarter than I actually am!

Fred practically growled, and I simply ducked under his arm in order to hurry along to the dining hall. “I’ll see you and Zohan both after lunch, then.” I called, speeding off to the dining hall which at least had some people milling around, so he wouldn’t follow me. He had a reputation to uphold, after all-... Right? ...That’s weird it’s like I know a lot of things instinctively, but don’t actually know them.

As I travel to the dinning hall, quickly getting some meal that I’m not actually in the mood to eat, I finally have a moment to breathe…

…

I’ve been avoiding this thought for a bit. But. I guess I have to come to terms with it. There’s. Another option when it comes to who I could be, in this story… It’s someone who I don’t try to focus on all that much. There’s someone else that was in Zohan and Fred’s group before joining Raven’s in the mock siege warfare. Someone else that Raven used to depend on for strategy, someone that Seris always wanted to play tricks on in an attempt to get the stick out of his ass. Someone whose actions are never explained, just have to be assumed by the player due to lack of information.

It was the type of scum whose very existence was forgettable enough for him to be pushed to the back of the developer’s mind, that was only there to further another character’s development.

In this life, I am unfortunately a villain.

In this life- my name is Owen Felford, and I will eventually betray Raven Cronwell, and kill his fiance, Seris.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...No but really are +9 Void Weapons still good? I'm afraid of +13 gear. Anyway where my Raven mains at.


	3. A day of training makes the doctor stay! (That's a bad thing, right?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After understanding the situation he's in- Owen needs to try his best to be- well, Owen!

I at least knew what I had to do now, what my role was. But come on, again, these types of things are supposed to be wish fulfillment, right!? So why am I playing the role of the guy who ends up hurting my favorite character! Why! Come on, I wanna hang out with him, not cut off his arm!

I hate this! Hate this! Hate this! Hate this!!

...Ok. I need to just. Keep calm for now… Just for the moment. I can’t afford to have a mental break down right now. Owen… Er. I? Have an image I need to maintain. At least that’s what my instincts are screaming. So, even if I don’t actually care, I have to act like I’m level headed…

...Being this guy is kinda exhausting, I scratch the back of my head lightly before catching my hand on something… Long.. I raise it up to my face before realizing-. Oh right, he has-. I. Have a braid.

That’s going to take some getting used to.

Alright. Just have to drill it into my head so I don’t mess up! I’m Owen Felford and-.

I’m the scum who tears off Raven Conwell’s arm. Great.

...Jeez I haven’t even done it yet, but just knowing I will eventually has the guilt eating at me… Or wait. Will I? ...Maybe this is wish fulfillment! I can save Raven from all his guilt from something that wasn’t even his fault by just! Not betraying him!

...But. I don’t even know how Owen did so in the first place, so I don’t really know how to avoid it… All they really say is that he framed Raven and then had him tried… And that he killed him last to torture him…

They don’t even say why Owen did it in the first place. There’s sort of an implication that it was because of their family situations, what with the Felfords being disgraced for… Whatever reason… I’m really grasping at straws here. There’s nothing to go off of, and I don’t even know how long until that day arrives.

...Maybe I should just not train. That way, when the day comes, Raven and Seris can just defeat me easily, and run away happily ever after! Yay~!-

YEAH AS IF!! THEY MIGHT KILL ME IN THE PROCESS IF I’M TOO WEAK! Besides Owen is weak in the first place, so that might not actually help me in the long run. Ugh this way too complicated…

Looking down, I notice my plate of food is still just sitting there, waiting for me to at least poke it with my fork. Sighing, I take my knife and cut up the meat, taking a small bite of the meat that looks sort of like pork but not quite…

...Huh. It’s tasty. I’m not going to ask what it is. Just. That it’s tasty. I don’t really wanna know what it is because the enemies which can give you food items are way too cute to eat… Then again, those enemies are only in Lanox, right? ...Does Velder import pork? Hm. I don’t like this thought process, actually. If I’m not careful I’m gonna be up all night studying Velder’s trading routes and politics… Speaking of. Wait. Can I read now?

After finishing my meal- I quickly head to the library, choosing some random book without looking at the subject matter-.

“The Harmony festival is three days every year in which the El receives back the energy it had expelled for the past three years in-.”

Punching my fists into the air, I silently cheer. I can read again!! Raven was the key! Raven!! Thank you!! I’m sorry in advance for all the trouble I’ll end up causing you!!

Pausing for a moment, I realize I feel something in my pocket, I quickly search around it and find-. A notebook! Flipping through it, there are all sorts of diagrams and notes about various students and training styles. There are also side notes about who Owen would have prefered as a partner, and who he’d rather not have. Raven is, of course, top of his list

…

Does this guy have a crush? Whatever, can’t be too big of one if he ended up hurting him so badly in the end. I pocket the book, trying not to think about it too deeply.

Alright, so now that that’s out of the way… Right. It’s after lunch and I should probably meet with Zohan and Fred in… The courtyard? ...Well. Take me away autopilot, I guess. As if on command, my feet begin carrying me away to our meeting place, I’m sure Fred will most likely give me trouble for earlier, but. I don’t really care, after all, I might actually get to talk with Raven!

...Even if that will lead to something horrible for him in the future. I just can’t shake that thought and enjoy myself because of that… Besides, even if he doesn’t take offense to it, I know I’ll have to insult him once or twice…

Whatever! I’ll figure it out later.

Coming up on the courtyard, I began hearing echoes of training distantly… I also find Zohan and Fred already waiting, Fred looks angry and Zohan looks… Mildly confused, but nonetheless trying to imitate Fred… Great. Now I have to deal with that.

“...Good to see your both fired up for this.” I comment, as Fred sneers at me. Ignoring him, I continue. “Now let’s discuss my plans for our first battle.” I pull out the small notebook from earlier, various notes are written neatly by a calm and steady hand, I end up automatically flip to the page with notes on both Zohan and Fred… Thank you!! Thank you for writing so much detail on them!! And so neatly… Oh I wish I had been this kind of guy-... I guess I am now.

“So with our current set up, I think it might be best to split up-.”

“Hey what the hell! We could easily take down 5 guys together. Are you doubting how strong Fred and I are?”

I feel my mouth wanting to go on its own. Oh, we really are here. Oh god. Ok. “...I’m not saying that our whole team’s strength isn't important. Mock siege warfare has a very simple rule where the side that captures the other team's base first wins. But you won't be able to win by just trying storm in. We should first divide up our roles according to-.” 

“So that means we'll win if we just break through quickly right? Everyone moving together is better then. Why don't you go build up some stamina or at least a little muscle if you have the time to come up with such stupid plans?” Zohan laughs accusingly at my smaller physique. Fred laughs along with him as if he thought of the joke first. If I had met these guys first, I definitely would’ve thought this was a middle school.

“You, you must think you’re someone pretty special…. Someone from the Felford family that’s practically a bottom feeder is actually trying to order us around? How come? Did you come here wanting to become a leader or something?” Fred smirks mockingly at me, clearly trying to get a rise out of me. Well jokes on you, buddy! I don’t actually care and-... I can’t even say you’re beneath me, can I? Well. I mean if I manage to make things easier on Raven- then maybe? They’ll be beneath me? Nevermind-.

“I think you’re misunderstanding the situation you’re in, we didn't team up with you because we wanted to. It's just that the only ones left were so lame that we let you, who at least still had a family name intact to join us. We can't have a girl or a commoner joining us, after all.” Zohan explained with malice in his voice. Wow that sounds even more sexist in person. I know they were trying to go with ‘these guys are really scummy, so don’t like them’, but come on. 

“This is a training exercise that occurs inside a wide and complicated castle. That's why we absolutely need someone that is able to analyze the situation and gives orders correctly. You guys would never be able to handle such a task with your brains so I'll-”

“Are you messing with us?”

I quickly get interrupted by Fred’s accusatory tone and Zohan grabbing me by the collar and pulling me upwards soon afterwards. Oh god oh fuck oh god oh fuck! OK. OK! I know how this ends. So I really shouldn’t be panicking but! It’s! Really hard! How did you stay so calm, Owen!?

“Know your place! I can end a bottomfeeder like you at any time by putting in a good word to my father. So you should really just quietly and obediently follow what we say.” I had to commend Fred, that time I actually felt like he might bite me or something. Which was then ruined by Zohan’s annoying voice. “Don't talk when you don’t need to, got it?”

“You guys must have a lot of free time to be playing around in this place. Stop being noisy and get lost. Before I call someone to kick you out.” A voice easily cut through the tension, and I felt my heart stopping. It was him. The man I was destined to kill.

...God he looked so cool, even just standing there.

“What? Who is this...? Raven?” Zohan asked dumbly, as if there isn’t a rumor mill going on about Raven at the moment-. Probably. I mean it’s sort of hard to ignore him. 

“Hmph, you must be feeling pretty confident with your family name protecting you. But you're not even a noble in the first place.” Fred snorted confidently, as if that wasn’t the stupidest thing he said all day. “How lame. Everyone here is equally a student long as they are here. Yet you are coming up with ranks based on family names….? Fine, since you like ranks so much, let's see. Do any of your families rank higher than the Cronwell's?” Raven contested easily. Watching Fred and Zohan both deflate and get redder with each passing second was easily one of the more satisfying parts of this entire experience. 

Quickly, they left as Zohen mutterested one last; “Tch, you’re still just a commoner…” Raven didn’t respond, simply going back to simply swinging around a sword, occasionally glancing at me.

...Right. I was supposed to do something. Right… Uh. Hm. What was it?

…

…

Nope. Drawing a blank-.

RIGHT. MOCK SIEGE WARFARE.

Shaking off my nerves, I slowly go over… It’s. A bit nerve wracking. Seriously I sort of. Idolize him in a way? The way he always interacted with the younger characters, and how silly he could be in spite of his more serious nature… Really… There was no winning with this.

...Maybe Owen was just jealous of how cool and kind Raven was.

...I can’t get distracted! Ok! Just. Say hi. Or-. Right! Thank him.

Finally working up the courage, I began to speak. “...Thanks for your help, Raven- Cronwell.” I almost said his first name on its own!! Nice save on saying his last name! Jesus!! I might die a second time from embarrassment!!

“...It was nothing, I just didn’t like those two.” Raven explained, shrugging simply. Ouch. That stung a little. I guess I deserve it for what happens later but-. No! It won’t happen later! But whatever, I’ll forgive it because it’s Raven!! Trying to ignore that comment- I continued talking. “My name is Owen Felford. I heard that you still don't have a team yet… Are you planning on not participating in the training exercise?” I asked, as if oblivious as to what the answer will be.

“...I’m not entering the siege warfare.” He said curtly… What should I do now-? Right. Keep talking. I have notes on him, right? Flipping through my little black book, I find the page on Raven… Here goes nothing.

“I’ve had my eyes on you ever since the last time I saw you training.” This sounds like a confession! Not a battle plan! “There are many parts of your movements that are certainly different from others. A strike to kill strategy that aims for an enemy's weak points while making as little movements as possible… you can't learn that kind of strategy from a sword instructor… To be honest, I don't have much talent with the sword. So I prefer to use my brain instead.” God I sound like such an asshole. “If you and I join forces, it wouldn’t be too difficult to lead the siege warfare into our favor and achieve victory.” I finish, not knowing whether or not I sounded too shaky to take seriously.

Raven looks up from his sword with slight interest in his eyes. “….What are you planning to do about the final team member?” He asks… Right this should be it, shouldn’t it? I need to promise myself not to freeze up when I see her. “There should be a few people that still haven't formed a team yet. So we should try to find-.”

“Umm, so, I was just passing by and heard you guys talking by a coincidence~ really, it was by coincidence…. So you guys are looking for a teammate, right?” Rang a singsong voice. Turning my head- my heart stops for the second time that day. Really, pictures hadn’t done her justice, her flowing blonde hair almost reminded me of an angel. She was absolutely stunning, even her eyes had an inherently friendly quality to them... And she was so dead if I didn’t do something differently.

I always thought Seris was cute from everything we knew about her. She pulled pranks, smiled often, and didn’t truly want to hurt anyone…

...There’s no way I could bring myself to kill someone like that. Seriously.

Why couldn’t I have been given an easier job?

“I also still don't have a team yet. I asked around various places but every one of them said they were already full! Can you believe that?” Who would reject such a strong person? I can see how amazing she is from a mile away. Well. I guess Owen did… Wait. Am I going to have to be sexist to one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen? Fuck! I hate this! Fuck this! Fuck this so hard! 

Sighing as she looked back and forth excitedly between us, I couldn’t believe I was going to do this.

“I'm sorry, Seris. But I have no plans to add a girl in our team. According to my plan, we need at least two swift-.” I HATE MYSELF SO MUCH FOR THIS, I’M SORRY SERIS. DON’T TAKE THIS PERSONALLY!!

“I may not look it, but I'm a crazy fast runner!” She quickly interrupts and says with the utmost confidence. I believe you! I really do!!

“...Who has the skills to break through enemy line in an instant-.”

“I was around average in the last strength test we had. Compared to that, Owen, you were almost last right?” She says smugly. Well! When she’s right, she’s right! Back it up and-... I still have to say no again.

“…Anyways, my answer is no.” I say sternly. Seriously, I don’t mean it!!

“What's up with that? Are you looking down on me because I'm a girl?” I NEED TO I’M SORRY!!! Why did they write him so sexist here!?

“...It’s… Not because… Um… Hm… Anyway… A no is a no-.”

“Fine, she can join.” THANK YOU RAVEN! I want to reiterate that I hated every second of it!!

“My goodness-! Really? Seriously??” She was absolutely beaming, her smile was as radiant as the sun… I can’t do this my heart is too weak. “Thank you so much! I won't let you guys down! I'll do my best! I'll give it my very best!” I tried looking annoyed as possible as she grabbed both my and Raven’s hand.

...No. But really. I don’t want to do this. Please don’t look at me like that while I know I might have to betray you later. Some things I just do automatically… What if me betraying these two is one of them? I can’t stand it. It makes my stomach twist in knots. I don’t. Think I deserve this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The descriptions are intentionally bad, I promise.
> 
> Anyway wow this one is only longer because it directly ties in with Raven's backstory quests. I have edited versions of the translations currently on Elwiki just so they make more sense- which. I hope they do? F in the chat if they don’t.
> 
> By the way why is one of the guy's named Fred??? I keep losing my goddamn mind over that.


	4. Supper's served! (I'm not hungry!)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seris, Raven, and Not-Owen have a bit of down time!

We spent the rest of the day together like that- training, going over battle strategies, me trying to get my bearings on a holding a weapon… I still don’t get it, how do you correctly hold one? Hey! Body! Subconsciously help me out here!! ...Did he not even know how to hold a sword!? What the heck!!- ...I mean I guess I don’t either. Ok, fine I have no room to judge. At least Raven and Seris believed me when I said I was just out of practice… I mean they had to, at some point I hit my own head with it. It was wooden, by the way, so I was fine.

For the moment, the three of us were just sitting in the grass, trying to regain our breath. Suddenly, my stomach started growling… Embarrassed, I looked away from the other two, not wanting to see their expressions. “...I only had lunch today.” I grumbled under my breath. Ah- wait. I shouldn’t let my exhaustion make me slip up, would Owen even do that? 

“Ok! That’s enough for now! I’m hungry too!!” Seris practically bounced up from her spot in excitement before beginning to skip away to the dinning hall. It was early in the evening, so dinner was being served anyway. “...I suppose if it’s with you two, I don’t mind that much.” Raven muttered, getting up as well. Aw, they’re going to walk together~.

...As for me, I struggle to get up, my legs had been doomed to become jelly from the moment I sat down. Jeez I was exhausted. I knew I was out of shape, but seriously, I didn’t think it was this much! ...Was it just because it’s Owen’s body? Come on, go to the gym at least once or twice, for both our sakes! It’s healthy!! ...I still have no room to talk, who am I kidding.

A hand is suddenly offered to me, unscarred but still slightly rough around the edges. I look up in slight shock, almost too disoriented to register whose it is and end up meeting the owner’s eyes. He quickly averts his eyes… Is he disgusted? No, Raven isn’t that type of guy, maybe… Embarrassed? “...Come on, we need to catch up.” He says, occasionally glancing back at me. I hesitantly take his hand and he pulls me up… Is it just me or is he taller? No, that makes sense, now that I think about it, taller people are usually more attractive, or something. If it really was out of jealousy, no wonder Owen did it, this is the type of guy you could never beat, never in a million years.

“...Thank you.” It comes out quieter than I expected, I’m not completely sure if he heard it, my own heart beating too loudly in my ears from over exertion to tell, crap, my face is probably bright red as well. Raven quickly returns his gaze to me, raising an eyebrow. “...Are you ok?” That quickly snaps me out of whatever daze I was in. “Huh? Oh-.” I clear my throat. “Yes. I’m just fine.” I stand up straighter in an attempt to save face. “...Right. Come on.” He says, while-. Pulling me along?

He quickly realizes that he never let go of my hand, and quickly releases it with a ‘sorry’... I feel my face definitely turning red, and I’m not really sure from what. “...Come on, you said it yourself that we need to catch up to her.” I say, quickly taking the lead in going to the dining hall… Before stumbling a bit. “Ah-. Jeez-!” I catch myself and continue onward… Though, I swear I could hear a small laugh behind me, I turn my head slightly and find Raven avoiding my gaze once again.

...Huh?

Arriving at the dining hall, Seris had already taken her seat and grabbed a plate for herself. “You could have waited…” I chastised. “Eh? Well! I was saving your spots! The tables would’ve been full anyway!” She argued lightly, all while there were plenty of tables open for us to sit at. “...It’s not like she really needed to wait for us, anyway.” I heard coming from behind me… Ah. The power couple is ganging up on me. This isn’t fair! “Still… It would’ve been nice…” I say, disgruntled. 

“C’mon, stop pouting and get your food!”

“I’m not pouting!” I practically whine. Oops. I really need to stop slacking! It’s only my first day here and I keep slipping up, that was more me than it was Owen! I quickly grab my food so I don’t seem suspicious and sit across from Seris, not actually paying attention to what I grab… Hopefully I just look like I’m embarrassed. Being this guy is so exhausting, really it is. I’m gonna crack under pressure at this rate… Oh hey I grabbed soup!

Raven eventually grabs his own food and grunts mildly as he sits next to Seris. With that we fall into the comfortable silence of eating… I haven’t really eaten with people in a long time. I sort of forgot how nice it could be. Never mind that the soup isn’t really something I’m used to… Or the place for that matter…

...I kind of want to leave.

I can’t just say that can I? Did Owen ever do that type of thing? Did he excused himself if he ever got too overwhelmed? ...I wish someone would just tell me the answer outright.

“Hey!” Seris suddenly calls, catching both our attentions. “Wanna bet on how long I can hold this fork on my nose for?” ...Huh?

“...What are you talking about? Do you mean a spoon?”

“No! A fork!” I’m sorry, Seris, I kind of doubt you… “...Can you even do something like that?” Raven seems intrigued… Huh? It has to be impossible how would you even-.

“Watch me!” And just like that, Seris tries her best to balance the tip of a shiny new fork on her nose. It lasts- only 2 seconds before the fork loses balance, almost landing in her eye, she quickly squeaks and struggles with it for a bit. Just like that it’s on the floor. It was destined to happen, especially without any adhesive. “Ah… A tragedy” Even so, she seems so defeated. “I told you so.” I chastised. I’m not gonna lie though, being right really is something special!

“I mean she still balanced it, just not for very long.” ...Hey is it just me or does Raven play devil’s advocate a lot. 

“...Can you even count that as balancing?”

“Yeah. It happened pretty quickly but… You could kinda see it. It was there.” He counters… Haaah, I’m being ganged up on again.

I just shake my head in mild annoyance. I don’t actually mind that much, but! Well, Owen is a strict guy-... Ok maybe I’m a little annoyed.

I let out a brief ‘hmph’ and look back at Seris. Rather than being disappointed, she has a goofy grin on her face. My eyes widen a bit. Why is she smiling? Is there something I’m not getting? Did she and Raven do this just to-. No. No. Of course they wouldn’t.. But, why then?

“...What are you so happy about?” I ask, a bit hesitant, I make sure to keep up more of an ‘annoyed’ expression, but… I’m going to be honest, I’m a bit nervous about what she might say, for basically no reason.

“Oh, well! I don’t know, you just seemed a bit down earlier, but you seem ok now!” Seris explains, but I’m just left with more questions. I look to Raven seeing if he had any input, he looks shocked while eating, as if I caught him off guard… It doesn’t seem like he was listening in the first place, so I don’t think I’m going to get an answer out of him.

...I think. Maybe. Now is the time.

“I’m afraid that’s just how my face naturally looks. Now,” I rise out of my seat, much to their surprise. “I’ll be taking my leave. We’ll continue our training and discuss our plans in more detail tomorrow early in the morning.” I know that just came out of my own mouth but. I really don’t want to wake up that early!! “...Alright. See you then… Are you sure you’re alright?” Raven seems concerned, but. Really I was this close to messing up, and I’m not ready to find out what happens when I do!

“Peachy. I’ll see you both at 8:00 o’clock sharp.” It came out harsh and frank but, and I feel horrible for this, I don’t really care at the moment. I didn’t look back to see their reactions.

My legs carry themselves to the place I had found myself in earlier that day. Upon opening the door, I find an all too neat room with the only mess entirely located on the desk. There are fountain pens and empty inkwells strewn across it, alongside books and misaligned paper to match the amount of wear the tools have. There are a few reading books here and there, but they’re all stacked neatly against each other. There’s even a basket filled to the brim with maps in the corner… The bed is tidy, but the comforter is just slightly to the left. There’s scarcely an imprint on it, regardless, so that probably means he just sleeps at his desk.

...I guess it’s better late than never to make it. Laying on top of the bed, I let myself sink into it fully. I tried to not let it get to me, but even at the end I was letting it slip. 

Finally allowing my body to tremble, and my tears to start flowing, I let out a quiet sob, praying to god no one hears it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a bit difficult for me but I'm tired of looking at it, so I'm calling it done!
> 
> Anyway- listen, he's been letting this build up for a while, let him have this.

**Author's Note:**

> This only happened because I love Owen way too much even though we only see him for like two seconds every 5 years. 
> 
> Writing inspiration comes from Scum Villain Self Saving system- but it's the english translation so it's formatted really weirdly and also our no name protagonist get's distracted really easily.
> 
> I apologize in advanced.


End file.
